Timothy Clunge-Martle

An explorer in the same vein as Indiana Jones… in high heels and a skirt.

Born in 1831 in the village of [p2p type=”slug” value=”scrabby-buttock”] in Somerset, to [p2p type=”slug” value=”frederic-edgar-clunge”] and Mary Myrtle Martle.

He first came to public notice during the Great Gin Drought of the 1850s discovering a gin lake – complete with juniper bushes – in Guatemala.

It was at this point he developed the high heeled hiking boot which he called the hiking heel, initially arguing that they improved visibility in rough terrain but later admitting that they made his legs look “absolutely stunning”.

Eschewing the bullwhip so popular with the explorers and hunters of the era he adopted the use of the highly unorthodox nunyo-chuk a little known ballasted combat yoyo. Legend has it that on more than one occasion he engaged two opponents using a nunyo-chuk in each hand doing a “walking-the-dog” then flicking the leather chord, snaring their ankles and tipping them over the the cliff edge they were stood next to…