Round Robin

Round Robin – an item of spam updating you on the minutiae of other peoples lives you’d rather not know.

Here’s mine from last Christmas…

It’s been a marvellous year. Following the publication of my third novel “Jerry Gerbil’s Adventures in Combat Accountancy” (sequel to “Jerry Gerbil’s ‘I Myself’ – Misadventures with Reflexive Pronouns”) we received a substantial advance on a four book deal and sold the film rights for my first book “Stretch Limo – Sean the Chauffeur’s Guide to Advanced Stain Removal”.

This has allowed us to go ahead with Sue’s titanium leg replacements – she’s gone for the option of a Swiss Army Knife in the left leg and a 4 litre hip flask (technically more like a thigh flask as there’s more room there) with built in IV. We are leaving the “Cyberboobs” until next year – I’m pushing for GPS in the left one and a 12v jump starter in the right one but I think Sue has designs on an outboard motor.

We’ve sold the Ferrari because the ashtrays are full and changed the marble in the Sunseeker – wrong shade of pink.

All cats are healthy. Cappy’s hang gliding career was cut short after the accident (glider was only rated for 400 kilos) but he’s jet-skiing instead now. Inky has taken up oil painting and Bungy has perfected his novelty physics act with the Van der Graaf generator. Pip is in semi-retirement.