Poshspeak (n.)

An increasingly rare speech impediment leading to a complete ignorance of how a word is spelt or pronounced by the vast majority of the population.   This results in bizarre pronunciations missing out entire sections of a word and often in saying different words in exactly the same way.

Examples:

  • The words “really” and “rarely” are both pronounced “rehly”.
  • The word “coward” is pronounced as “card”.
  • ffeatherstonhaugh is pronounced fanshaw.

Victims are often to be found sitting in large leather armchairs by the fireplaces in gentlemans’ clubs. Secondary symptoms include a large red nose and an addiction to cigars.