Monthly Archives: March 2015

boozeburn (n.)

That unmistakable all year round ruddiness of the raging alcoholic.

thirdwit (n.)

The perfect term for those moments when you meet someone so idiotic that halfwit just won’t do and quarterwit seems too harsh…

Far Corfe

Far Corfe is a mythical village in Dorset and location of the the most idyllic pub in England – “”The Frog & Quantity Surveyor’s Arms & Head”. ¬†Similar to Brigadoon except it’s there all the time but, in the same way as the rainbow’s end, it’s impossible to get to. ¬†I know, because I’ve tried… […]

Thumb Pointing

A clue that someone has had media training.  It is, apparently, rude to point. But people feel a natural inclination to do so when accusing each other.  The media trainers seem to teach people to tuck their index finger in… but that leaves the thumb resting on the tucked finger.  The hand still jabs towards […]

appley (adj.)

Used to describe any gadget guaranteed to divide opinion into three distinct camps… Camp 1: It is unmitigated genius the likes of which have never before been seen upon the face of the Earth and for which we should give daily thanks as its mere appearance is like the tears of an angel being cried […]

Online Auction Site

A place where the word “genuine” frequently appears inside double quotes… A place where people complain an item hasn’t arrived but go all quiet when you send them their digital signature from the carrier’s website… A place where people strangely think charging postage and packing is an outrage… A place where people SHOUT ABOUT EVERYTHING […]

Bideccaquadritis (n.)

A severe addiction to 24 resulting in the use of the following phrases in casual conversation by the vending machines: “That’s a mistake – never select decaf.” “You have to let me do it my way – otherwise the sliding door thing get’s stuck.” “I don’t care! I like the taste of dishwater.” “Tell me […]

Dissociated Hair Syndrome

A phenomenon which occurs when you have your hair professionally coiffured to such a degree it ends up looking like a wig… very prevalent among media luvvys. Can also occur as a result of failing to come to terms with the fact you’re thinning, resorting instead to a thoroughly unconvincing comb-over.