WikiFictionary

For rules of play and other versions click Bullshit Bingo: The Rules.

1. I don’t think people are interested in…<thing people are very interested>
2. I think people are tired of… <something the politician is tired of>
3. We need to draw a line under this <because it makes me look bad>.
4. Taking the tough decisions.  Ignoring the electorate and doing things they don’t like.
5. We’re consulting with those affected at every stage <but we’re going to screw them anyway>.
6. There’s much left to do. Please vote for us, pretty please.
7. Wait for the results of the review/enquiry.  We’re postponing it and hoping you’ll forge about it.
8. We’re listening. LALALALALALA! I’VE GOT MY FINGERS IN MY EARS!
9. I can’t discuss individual cases… We really f****d that one up!
10. I don’t accept that… Yes you’re absolutely right!
11. Hard working families.  Old Labour Voters.
12. Doing things that make a real difference to ordinary people.  Bribing the voters just prior to an election.
13. Boom and bust.  The economic cycle.
14. Raft of Measures.  A tower of ill thought out legislation which undermines personal freedom or fails to achieve its objective.
15. Work is already underway.  Crap I wish we’d thought of that!
16. You make a co-payment and we contribute towards it.  We give some of your tax back to you and you pay the rest out of taxed income.
17. The electorate are sending us a message.  We just got butt f*****d in a by-election.
18. London is the greatest city in the world… It’s crime ridden shit hole with poor quality of life a high cost of living and over priced housing but we have to give Trump a good run for banging on about New York.
19. You may think that but I couldn’t possibly comment. Yes.
20. Proportionate, open and transparent. Er… bollocks!

For rules of play and other versions click Bullshit Bingo: The Rules.

1. We’re making excellent progress.  We’re 80% done in 20% of the time.
2. The project shows as a red light on the MIS. The remaining 20% is taking 80% of the time.
3. It has to be done by <random date>.  It’s not a real deadline but we told the board the date. Don’t bother to get it right, get it done on time.
4. Thank you all for your efforts at the weekend.  I was playing golf you mugs.
5. We’re under resourced.  Project scope has expanded and completely changed.
6. Let’s drill-down a bit on that…  I’m a pretentious twat.
7. We need to touch base…  I’m still a pretentious twat.
8. We’re downsizing… You’re fired.
9. You’re a team player.  We need to tic-tac next week regarding vertical integration possibilities. This is great fun – everyone thinks I’m cool because of the way I talk!
10. We’re on an efficiency drive…We’ve locked the stationary cupboard.
11. We’re rationalising… You’re fired.
12. I need a SWOT report vis-à-vis the procurement cycle to ensure we’re sweating the assets. I have no f***ing clue what I’m talking about – BUT neither do they!
13. We need to cut overheads… You’re fired.
14. We need to leverage our resources to facilitate progress going forward.  It’s amazing no one has punched me in the face.
15. Can you give me a heads-up?  I need an excuse to fire you.
16. We need to make savings… You’re fired.
17. The Directors have said there’s going to be a paradigm shift. We’re all going to be fired.
18. We need to watch our bottom line… You’re fired.
19. I don’t have much bandwidth to connect ear-to-ear this week regarding the deliverables or to facilitate leveraging a home run.  I’m losing my mind.
20. There’s been a management restructure.  I’ve been fired.