WikiFictionary

A terrible condition which afflicts anyone whose job involves repeating a breezy greeting or repetitive and insincere offer of assistance to people they really don’t give a crap about.  This results in the creation of a whole host of new fictionary words like:

• Jawonanysawses?
• Jalykadrink?
• Pastrywivat?
• Enthintweet?
• Pliskallmibakon<incomprehensibly babbled phone number>by.
• Wojjalyke?
• Kannagajennything?
• Crispynutsothersnaks?
• Galarge?

And the eponymous kanelpyu… diagnosis is relatively straightforward as the questioner is distorting your reply in a similar way so anything vaguely resembling an expected answer will result in the delivery of the correct item.  For instance when asked Crispynutsothersnaks? If the reply ”A packet of penis please.” results in a packet of peanuts rather than a call to the police… they are definitely suffering from kanelpyu.

The end result of eating paté which has passed it’s sell by date.

Used to describe any gadget guaranteed to divide opinion into three distinct camps…

Camp 1: It is unmitigated genius the likes of which have never before been seen upon the face of the Earth and for which we should give daily thanks as its mere appearance is like the tears of an angel being cried into your eyeballs.  A Spanky Pagoda will be required to avoid arrest when you reach the front of the queue outside the shop – it will also provide shelter during the 3 days you’ve been queueing.

Camp 2: It’s a very good product which certainly moves the game on substantially and might be getting very good indeed by the second or third version.  That said it is marred by a few glaring omissions some of which appear odd and leave you with the impression the underlying decision was based on emotion and bloody mindedness and not logic, commercial interest or common sense.

Camp 3: It’s an overblown, over-designed, hyped up piece of crap bought without fail by simpering feeble minded sycophants who can’t stop talking about the bloody thing to the point where people will cross the street to prevent a homicidal rage attack like the one that happened last time…

A severe addiction to 24 resulting in the use of the following phrases in casual conversation by the vending machines:

• “That’s a mistake – never select decaf.”
• “You have to let me do it my way – otherwise the sliding door thing get’s stuck.”
• “I don’t care! I like the taste of dishwater.”
• “Tell me the location of the sweetener or I will kill you!”
• “We don’t have much time – they don’t have a tea break here.”
• “We have a situation – spilled coffee call the CDC … er Helpdesk.”
• “We don’t have 10 minutes – we have 30.”
• “Do you have a visual on the sandwich van.”
• “There’s no time – like the present.”
• “You have to trust me – the powdered fruit juice tastes like p*ss.”
• “Yes mister President – I don’t smoke, but hey, free cigar.”
• “I’m sorry but we didn’t have a choice – only black decaf coffee left.”
• “We did what was necessary – and wobbled the machine until the crisps fell out.”
• “Your making a terrible mistake – don’t touch the freakin’ decaf – how many times!.”
• “I’ll giver you covering fire…. go, go!  Sorry, not sure what happened there.”
• “Let’s move – quietly back to our desks.”

A well known Scotts pragmatist.

You need to click the image for a good look – best I could do with my cameraphone…

Doing your bit for the environment.