Tag Archives: Countries

England

The only country in the world where the bowler hat is still considered fashionable, the Carry On films hip and cool and calling women “love” or “darling” still socially acceptable.

Alaska

The really cold one above and a bit the the left of Canada where everyone is constantly drunk on tequila from a bottle with some blokes toe in it.

Canada

The one above the USA.  This is, in fact, where all the Americans are born.  First they learn the basics by practising not saying please or thank you. Next they they learn to shoot things, execute people and drive pickup trucks.  A quick course in “How to Increase Your Carbon Footprint” and “How not to […]

Mexico

Mexico is the the cute warm little country below the USA.  It has really cool bullet ridden mud houses.  The main import for Mexico is fugitives and main exports are domestic staff and donkeys.

America (USA)

The bit above Mexico but below Canada.  The main difference between Canada and the USA is that more male citizens of the USA have had sex with an animal than have a passport.

Thai Food

GAI GOR DON – a deep fried Mars bar accompanied by bagpipes and dancing. KAO PAD GUM – a delicious deep fried cow pat garnished with well chewed bubblegum (which should still be warm and moist). PED RON – Thai version of a Mexcican dish from the East end of London. LAB GAI YANG – […]

Italy

A magical land of wonder and arse pinching…

Germany

Tricky one this, a minefield of sensitive stereotypes and historical baggage. Oh shit – I said minefield…