Category Archives: Places

Now to be fair some of these places are real – but the things we say about them are not!

French

I was going to get this page written by a genuine French person… but she went on strike and blocked my drive with her car.

England

The only country in the world where the bowler hat is still considered fashionable, the Carry On films hip and cool and calling women “love” or “darling” still socially acceptable.

Alaska

The really cold one above and a bit the the left of Canada where everyone is constantly drunk on tequila from a bottle with some blokes toe in it.

Canada

The one above the USA.  This is, in fact, where all the Americans are born.  First they learn the basics by practising not saying please or thank you. Next they they learn to shoot things, execute people and drive pickup trucks.  A quick course in “How to Increase Your Carbon Footprint” and “How not to […]

Mexico

Mexico is the the cute warm little country below the USA.  It has really cool bullet ridden mud houses.  The main import for Mexico is fugitives and main exports are domestic staff and donkeys.

America (USA)

The bit above Mexico but below Canada.  The main difference between Canada and the USA is that more male citizens of the USA have had sex with an animal than have a passport.

Diggle Tunny

Nestled in the Mendip hills near the river Piddling it has a chocolate box look with no roads signs and very few street lights.

Far Corfe

Far Corfe is a mythical village in Dorset and location of the the most idyllic pub in England – “”The Frog & Quantity Surveyor’s Arms & Head”.  Similar to Brigadoon except it’s there all the time but, in the same way as the rainbow’s end, it’s impossible to get to.  I know, because I’ve tried… […]

Scrabby Buttock

Scrabby Buttock is a formerly thriving Somerset mining town, near a sewage treatment plant and nestled between two large chalk outcrops covered in fir trees.  The town shut down after the sewage works extension leaked into the mine filling it with several million gallons of untreated human effluvium.

Recycling Centre

You need to click the image for a good look – best I could do with my cameraphone…

Senso Unico

The Senso Unici (for there are two – one in Rome and one in Florence) are hidden art galleries behind hinged wine racks in the wine cellars of modest restaurants. Discovered by the famed explorer while looking for a bottle of Chianti that didn’t remove all the skin from the inside of his mouth. The […]

Scotland

A beautiful country to the North of England – vast lakes (lochs), stunning mountains and lush green countryside. Provides the world’s best intestine based main courses (haggis) and battered, deep-fried confectionery desserts (Mars). The locals have many quaint customs including the use of facial punching instead of a hand shake. Go there!

Countries

Light hearted satirical stereotyping only, people!

Oop_North

The North of England… where men are still men and cars run on biowhippets. Northern Culture Northern Language Northern Places

Italy

A magical land of wonder and arse pinching…

Germany

Tricky one this, a minefield of sensitive stereotypes and historical baggage. Oh shit – I said minefield…