Archive for the ‘Animals’ Category


A classic French dish where a duck is distracted from it’s weight training regime to be killed, incinerated and drowned in a sickly sweet orange treacle.

Not to be confused with the classic British dish Duck a la Range.

The Vicious Squirrel frequents the Chells neighborhood of Stevenage (Herts.), England. It destroys laundry left on the line to dry, often vomits, and eats small children weighing up to 13.5 kg.

Coy Carp

RosieB on February 9, 2010 in Animals No Comments »

Stop looking, I'm naked...

A very shy and non-commital ornamental fish usually found hiding under lily pads…

BADGERS! Run for your lives...

Nature and evolution at their best. Rumours of the extermination campaign for eradicating TB have triggered a response. Armed with a variety of confiscated weaponry but much preferring a sawn off shotgun. As you can see from the image it has reached such epidemic proportions the authorities have been forced to erect warning signs. Pest control is difficult as the badgers often camouflage themselves as other woodland creatures such as zebra.

Historical evidence suggests this may have happened before in mainland Europe with 14th century French texts containing the phrase “Regardez vous le blaireau avec un trebuchet”.

Duck a la Range

admin on December 24, 2009 in Animals No Comments »

A popular British dish where Free Range (hence the name) duck is blown to shreds with a shotgun, threatened briefly with a candle then ruined with a sickly sweet orange treacle. Usually ordered with chips.

Not to be confused with the classic French dish Duck a l'Orange.

Somerset Thrush

RosieB on December 23, 2009 in Animals No Comments »

What are you lookin' at?

Arguably a very plain looking bird which more than makes up for its humdrum appearance with some spectacularly unusual behaviour.

  • Drinking Habits: Fond of bird baths but only if filled with Thatchers Cider.
  • Eating Habits: An exclusive diet of earthworms which it brings to the surface by headbutting the lawn – usually after drinking a bird bath of Thatchers Cider
  • Warning Call (Pirates): Arrrr Arrrr Arrrr
  • Tentative Agreement: Ah Ah
  • Vigorous Agreement Call: Oarrrr Oarrrr Oarrrr

Klingon Geese

RosieB on December 23, 2009 in Animals No Comments »

ta' SoH jatlh tlhIngan

Sometimes you make things up and they actually turn out to be real, who’d a thunk it?

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